Love Quotes presents you best funny love quotes that will make you laugh. These funny love quotes are researched and listed for you guys so that you can express your feelings and make them laugh.

Funny Love Quotes

Cute Funny Love Quotes

My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan!

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.

My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

Funny Love Quotes For Him

We’ll love you just the way you are if you’re perfect.

If you love’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.

Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash.

Funny Love Quotes And Sayings

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.

In a recent Valentine’s Day posting on her fan website, Britney Spears says that – oh, who cares?

When a couple of young people strongly devoted to each other commence eating onions, it is safe to pronounce them engaged.

If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?

Funny Love Quotes Tagalog

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach.

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.

Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.

There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it.

Cute Funny Love Quotes

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven’t had time for tobacco since.

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.

Funny Love Quotes For Him

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.

Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlist.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

Breathes there a man with soul so dead, who never to his wife hath said, “Breakfast be damned, come back to bed.

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.

In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit or getting parked in the wrong place.

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.

Funny Love Quotes And Sayings

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing… and then marry him.

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Men aren’t necessities, they’re luxuries.

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.

Husbands are like fires… they go out when they’re left unattended.

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do.

Funny Love Quotes Tagalog

The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much.

If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.

I don’t know if I want to get married again.

Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

If it’s true that men are such beasts, this must account for the fact that most women are animal lovers.

What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.

A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing.

My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.

Funny Love Quotes

I’m always looking for meaningful one-night stands.

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.

Never get married on college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.

Funny Love Quotes

My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.

Romantic love is a mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

It is impossible to love and be wise.

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

In love, women are professionals, men are amateurs.

Funny Love Quotes And Sayings

Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover’s lane holding his own hand.

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.

I will surely publish more Funny Love Quotes for you for that I need your suggestion and your ideas, so please share your views in comments. I have shared my collection with you I hope you share this collection with your loved ones.

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